Since officially entering the Ludus Games self doubt started raring her ugly head.
Every niggle I got during training worried me, then I hurt my wrist and quickly followed that up with the “incident” during a boxing session with Mr P.T which dented my confidence so I didn’t head into games day in the best “head space” but apparently it didn’t show. During the individual warm up Yumes said to me “Everyone here looks nervous – except you”
Believe me I had thought of every excuse under the sun to back out of doing the games, especially when I found out that the wod included a 1k run.
I’ve only just started running again on a treadmill so I was feeling really unprepared for what was to come – little did I know that the run would be the easiest part!
The Ludus Games Individual eventers huddled and prayed and then off we went on section one of the Individual event a hill sprint up Ludus Hill
Then we ran back down the hill and entered the arena to get started on the the Individual WOD
You had to start and finish the wod with 25 burpees and 25 chins but you could do the middle section of the WOD in any order you wanted. The only catch was that three of the sets had to be done unbroken.
- KB Squats – either 18 reps with 16 kg KBs, 25 reps with 12 kg KBs or 32 reps with 8kg KB’s
- KB Jerks – same weight/reps as above
- 50 pushups
In the KB sets you had to hold the KBs in rack position if you rested. If they fell below the hip or came away from your chest (or you put them (or threw them)) on the floor you had to start again at 1.
In the pushup set you had to stay in plank or downward dog position if you needed to rest if your knees hit the floor or you lifted more than 1 limb off the floor while resting you had to restart at rep 1.
Those 3 sets caught everyone “out” I looked across the arena and saw Anna doing the push up set tears welling up in her eyes. I saw strong fit young (shirtless) guys struggle, swear and yes even cry during the jerk set and after my forth failed attempt at the squat set I screamed, threw the KBs in disgust and burst into tears and that was about the time that Mr P.T walked in – great timing 😉
When I got to the end of the middle section of the WOD I had three sets left before I could move onto the last set of burpees and chins .. unbroken squats, unbroken jerks and unbroken pushups. It worked out like that because I kept failing on the squats and jerks so I would go and do a set that didn’t involve me going unbroken until all I had left before I could move on was the three unbroken sets.
Since I had failed on the jerks and squats so many times I figured I may as well get the push ups out of the way. Even though I was battered, broken and feeling pretty down on myself I was still pretty sure I could get through the push up set unbroken – push ups are one of “my things”
Thankfully I was right and the push ups were relatively hassle free although I did do the last ten reps in sets of two.
That left the two bains of my life – the jerks and the squats. Although I had just done push ups I was getting closer to finishing the jerks than I was on getting through the squat sets so I figured I’d try them first.
I went to the lightest weight on the board which meant I had to do 32 reps. Yumes stood directly in front of me and said “you are the strongest person I know – you can do this”
I focused on her while trying to keep the tears at bay. The kb’s were actually quite light and the jerk wasn’t the hard part it was holding the kbs in the rack position to rest, so I tried to do as many reps as possible before resting. When I got to 30 I had to tell myself to concentrate and when I finished the last one I dropped the kbs hugged Yumes and burst into tears. I was so close to getting through the unbroken sets!
That left the squats. I actually didn’t think I could complete 32 reps so I went for the middle weight and was attempting 25 reps. I did about 10 reps before failing. I screamed FUCK, threw the kbs across the room in disgust and broke down.
I reached the depths of despair right there in the middle of the arena, I was tired, I was sore and I had lost all faith in myself. At that point James walked into the arena after finishing his counting duties and I cried uncontrollably on his shoulder exclaiming that I had tried my hardest and I just couldn’t do it.
He let me cry then when I had calmed down he patted my back, kissed me on the head and simply said “of course you can, if anyone can, it’s you”
I picked up the weights told everyone that the only person who could talk was Yumi then I shut my eyes and squatted 32 times unbroken – thank fuck for that.
The burpees and chins seemed easy after that then James came on the 1k run with me (well it was actually a walk/jog I was totally farked by then) then as we ran back to the arena he said “so you just have to frog leap burpee up the small hill then run to the top where Joe is waiting- ok?”
To which I replied “Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark”
He then said “Yeah that’s why I didn’t say anything until we got back”
As I reached the finish line Joe gave me a huge hug and said “I’m so proud of you” and to tell you the truth I was pretty proud of me too!
It was the hardest thing I have ever done I reached the depths of despair and I doubted my strength, my abilities and my will but thankfully Yumi stood by me the entire time and patiently waited for me to overcome my demons and find my inner warrior.
You know how they say “behind every great man is a great woman?” well “behind every great woman is a great friend reminding them just how strong they are when they have forgotten”
Great friends also bring donuts ..
Till next time
Gold Medal Winner (Masters Division) 🙂