It’s the little things
(Day 3 #lmaaugust)
While I was in Waihi attending the Winter Wellness Retreat I found out about “Love Languages” which in short is a theory devised by pastor/scholor/author Gary Chapman that each person has a one primary and one secondary love language (the way in which they show and feel loved).
Chapman’s book outlines that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate love in a “language” the recipient understands. For example one of my primary love languages is acts of service, which means that I do things for the people I love and therefore prefer James did things for me (like rub my tired legs after a run) rather than buy me stuff (gifts) or tell me he loves me (verbal affirmations) which may not seem romantic – but that’s how this girl rolls ..
You see I don’t need flowers, diamonds or even fancy dinners to show me that I’m loved, he does that on the daily by getting up at stupid o’clock to hit the road with me (because it’s dark and scary out) and joining me trail running, when it literally hurts him to run so slowly ..
He’ll even stop mid run to bust out random yoga poses because I ask him too!
For me, it’s the many little things he does that shows how much he loves me.
Gary Chapman explains that the five love languages are;
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Verbal Affirmations
- Physical Touch
- Receiving Gifts
At first glance I was sure that my love language would be physical touch (as I’m a HUGE hugger), but once I looked a little deeper it went without saying that Acts of Service and Quality time are without doubt my primary love languages, in fact they tie in first place, followed closely by Words of Affirmation.
If you are curious to find out what your (and your loved ones) love languages are, you can take the simple test here
There is one test for adults (couples and singles) and another test for children. Miss 10 took the test and her primary love language is Quality Time, which makes sense when she’ll come trail running with me even though she hates running, because (and I quote) “I get to hang out with you, Mum.”
I would imagine that most kids would have a primary love language of Quality Time, but since Mr 9 wouldn’t take the test because “booooring” .. I can neither confirm nor deny my theory.
Till next time