Desperately seeking

If you have been following my blog you know that I’ve had a hard time assimilating into “normality”

You see when I am in the hustle and bustle of contest prep I have a target to focus on with a clear finish line. I just wasn’t sure what to do without a constant goal post to run towards.

I’ve pondered, discussed, pondered some more, tossed ideas around and had still not come to any conclusions.  Then I re read a post my friend Jen had written on her blog.

After deciding to do a triathlon (just because she needed a goal) she finally decided to sit down and write out;

  • What she wanted to get from doing something physical (how she wanted to feel/look)
  • What she enjoyed doing
  • Whether her goal would get her feeling/looking like she wanted and if it was something she enjoyed.

Once she had written out her lists it was obvious to her (and her blog readers) that what she was doing wasn’t in fact giving her what she was seeking.

I had decided that I would do the same thing.

But this weekend I realized that what I was looking for was there all the time.  Right in front of me, I had just always been too busy to see it!

FREEDOM!

I didn’t train because I had to.  I did it because its something that I love doing.

I enjoyed my kids.  REALLY enjoyed them!

We spent all day in the garden, running around being dinosaurs, planes, butterflies (Issys choice) and Robots (Elias’ choice) and picnicked in the shade of the lemon tree.  I even juggled lemons (although not amazingly well) 😉

I got to be me!  A well(ish) rested not starving me who is actually quite fun to be around – although James doesn’t think I am much fun to watch rugby with, but thats another story altogether. :)

People …. I have finally found “that balance”

So for now I am content.

I’m still working towards getting beach ready (only 11 weeks till Christmas) but my food is varied and enjoyable (no egg whites upon more egg whites – there is however chicken lol) and I’m not killing myself in the process.   Although there are times after a Ludus session I do feel like dying. 😉

Now if only I could get the kidlets to sleep an entire night without waking and have the All Blacks win the 2011 Rugby World Cup (go the ABs!) my life would be perfect!

Meh who am I kidding, my life pretty much is ..

Till next time

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2 Responses

  1. Verena says:

    Loved reading that! Made me smile.

  2. Donloree says:

    YES to some chicken but no egg whites – sounds perfect to me. Love it.

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